The Day After

The funeral is over, the music went fine and we saw many old friends and acquaintances from our hometown where Jim lived, Crystal Lake, Iowa, home of the world’s largest bullhead – ha!

Read more


Becky and I have never played together at a funeral but we were happy to have been able to do this for Jim’s family. I guess we chose Because He Lives, Barb requested How Great Thou Art and then asked us to include another of Jim’s favorite songs I’ll Fly Away. Becky has a warm alto voice and we got lots of compliments.

Today family began to go home and my great niece April, her husband Chuck and their daughter Bailey stopped here to see the cats, the goats and the chickens. It’s always fun for me to have a kid here who loves animals. Reed and I had been working outside, cutting down hydrangeas, putting away fences, etc.

April loved the Bad Hair Day girls.

But Bailey loved the cats.

Ernie loves attention of any kind!

Oh, it was such a fun visit! And today was Bailey’s 10th Birthday as well as her dad’s birthday.

Today was the first Sunday in a couple of years that I didn’t go visit Gayle after church. I am missing her already. Her celebration of life is scheduled for this Thursday from 4-7 pm. That is also the day of my cataract surgery and I’m not sure I’ll be able to attend. This question is addressed to those who have already had cataract surgery – what could you do that very first evening? Do you think I’ll be able to go? If somebody drives me?

I am ready tonight for a quilt EXPLOSION! Judy Linn wrote about hers in a comment about a quilt retreat and I am so ready to sit and sew. I’ll let you know what I decide to work on.

Tomorrow is the start of another week – I hope this week is better than last week!

39 thoughts on “The Day After

  1. Sue in Oregon

    Mary….I have had cataract surgery in both of my eyes approx. 6 years apart. My surgeries were early in the morning. Although I had to wear an eye patch all that first day, I was in no discomfort at all. So, if you are released by the time the funeral starts, and you are feeling okay, I would say…Go. You won’t be using your eyes sitting there, after all. If you don’t mind the patch…why not? But, of course, it would be good to ask your doctor.

    Reply
  2. Sue in Oregon

    Oh…forgot to say that the funeral for your brother sounded lovely. You did not say, but I am sure you had many nice compliments on your playing. Bless all of your family.

    Reply
  3. Brenda archambault

    Mary, go for it. It will be a day of taking it easy, but should not interfere with you attending a memorial service. Just have someone to drive you. After the patch comes off you’ll be amazed at the minute by minute improvements. (My doctor told me it was ok to drive 50 miles to go out for dinner that night, after the surgery!)
    Hope the week will be uneventful, otherwise.

    Reply
  4. Nancy Wines

    You definitely will be fine to go after cataract surgery. You’ll be amazed at how much better you will see. Your eye may feel a little scratchy but not painful. Good luck with your surgery. I had both done this summer a week apart and it was great!

    Reply
  5. Sue Davis, Argyle, Texas

    Hi Mary
    Both my husband and i have had this done. Wearing a patch on the way home and sleeping. Sunglasses are a must in the sun until dilation is gone. I agree with all these gals. Go, just dont drive.

    Reply
  6. Debby Krzyston

    I would definitely talk to your doctor. Any crying might put pressure on the eye that just had surgery.
    I had my surgery last year.
    Between surgeries notice the difference in color. I thought it was amazing.

    Reply
  7. Louverna

    I had my surgery done about 11am. Got home a couple of hours later. I laid down and napped a while. Got up and was fine. My eye felt like I had a particle of sand in it for a day. Be sure and take your eye drops on time. Wear the dark sunglasses they give you because of glare from the sun. I did not have a patch. They put a lens in my eye so I don’t wear glasses now. You should be fine going to the service. Good luck with your surgery and I’m sorry for the losses you have had lately.

    Reply
  8. Gayle Lacey

    Plan to go to the funeral. I had cataract surgery 3 weeks ago and I felt fine the first evening. You’ll do fine!

    Reply
  9. Bonnie Crane

    My heart goes out to you, Mary. When you are used to doing something on a regular basis, in your case visiting Gayle, it is difficult to accept and change your routine. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Reply
    1. CountryThreads Post author

      Bonnie Crane -I visited Gayle 4 or 5 times a week and now nothing. What a change in my life and schedule.

      Reply
  10. Sandi

    I think it will depend on what time you get home. I was really fine, a little rest and I was good. You will need someone to drive you. I’m so sorry about your friends passing. Hugs,

    Reply
  11. Kathy Hanson

    You should be able to go with someone to drive and to be with you. I was just fine after the surgery. You would feel really badly to miss Gayle’s celebration of life. Just be careful to not overdo.
    Love the family enjoying the animals!!

    Reply
  12. Jo in Wyo

    Boy Mary, filling your time without Gayle is a tough one.
    I remember, after my friend moved away, I felt so lost. I started baking for the fire fighters. They got so many cookies and pies from me, I’m sure they were relieved when I finally was able to stop. I told them I was trying to get over an emotional trauma, they were understanding and never made me feel awkward.
    In time you will be ok, but getting there is hard.

    Reply
  13. Janet Snyder

    I agree with what the others have said. Had cataract surgery this summer and I with a driver could have attended a memorial. Sorry for your losses.

    Reply
  14. Brenda

    Mary,
    I had cataract surgery on each eye 2 weeks apart this summer. In each incident, the only restriction was no lifting more than 20 pounds and I had to wear the eye shield when I was asleep.
    Gayle was your good friend- go to the celebration seeing the world more brightly. You’ll be glad you did.
    Brenda

    Reply
  15. Paula

    Mary,

    So sorry about your brother and good friend. I had cataract surgery on both of my eyes in August, two weeks apart. It was early in the morning. I had to wear a patch for only 3 hours and then was fine. I took a nap since they had given me something for anxiety but by 2-3 in the afternoon I was totally fine and could see very well. You should be fine to go to the service but ask your doctor. Prayers for all.

    Reply
  16. Kathy in NY

    I thought of you yesterday morning in church as we sang How Great thou art.
    Our minister said he began singing out loud in the grocery store one day last week cause he knew it would help him cope with a job he didn’t particularly like or want to do so this helped his stress level. So of course we all sang it after his sermon and now I have another memory for the music. It’s funny cause two weeks ago I ran into an old friend in the grocery store that I hadn’t seen in 10 years or more and she was singing out loud which made me turn around and spot her. What a nice long talk we had catching up and it made my day.
    Pour your heart and grief into your quilting for the next few days as it’s the therapy needed on these fall chilly days. You are so wrapped in love with your pets, devoted friends such as Reed and all your family and of course, us.

    Reply
    1. CountryThreads Post author

      Kathy in NY – more great memories of music – I’ve been humming I’ll Fly Away for two days now. Music touches my heart in the form of a message all the time – thanks for your kind thoughts!

      Reply
  17. Becky from IA/TX

    You should be fine to go to the memorial if someone drives you…..I didn’t have to wear an eye patch and my surgery was last year…

    Reply
  18. Launa

    Mary… I never had any warning about not bending over…just wear the eye patch the day after surgery and at night a few days….and use the eye drops. Had a nice eye drops schedule from ophthalmologist!
    No pain n since we drove very early to hospital we stopped in the dining room afterwards for light lunch!
    Love those wonderful songs, too. Sad to lose family and friends.

    Reply
  19. April

    Thank you again for having us over. It made Bailey’s day and she loved every animal filled minute. Hope your surgery goes well and you have a speedy recovery.

    Reply
  20. Tanya in Houston

    I cannot imagine you NOT being there! Saying goodbye in formal and informal ways is important. With your positive attitude, a great physician, and a driver, surely you will be able to attend. If not, Gayle knew that you love her and would want you to take care of yourself! I love the songs you picked for your brother’s service and have been singing them this week, too…we are with you in spirit!

    Reply
  21. Teresa

    Mary, I’m sorry you are experiencing so much loss and sorrow in your life. It’s so hard to let go of those we have been close to. Sending hugs to you.

    Reply
  22. Bobbie

    Hi Mary, when I had mine they put a patch that had little holes in it so you could see a little thru it You just didn’t need to get sand or grit in your eye. I also slept in it so you don’t sock yourself in the eye. Then the next day the Dr. Removed it. If it’s bright also wear dark glasses. And don’t drive for a few days. My was wonderful in a few days so glad I had them done.
    I love all your fur babies, I have 2 small dogs and they are enough. I have a pup that was born June 1 and she chews everything. Has more energy in one hour than I have all week. My other one is 7 and spends her time trying to get the baby away from her.
    So sorry for the losses of your dear friends. You will be glad you got to go.

    Reply
    1. CountryThreads Post author

      Bobbie – I see there’s an eye cover like you described in my packet as well as dark glasses. I am looking forward to good vision again -so tired of everything looking blurry!

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *